


Lost (Without You)

by Pearl_Unplanned



Series: Cap_Ironman Bingo 2015 [13]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cap_Ironman Bingo, M/M, Stony Bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 17:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5594071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearl_Unplanned/pseuds/Pearl_Unplanned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the funeral, Steve breaks down. But he may not have lost everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost (Without You)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, but it had to be done. Bingo, after all. Can't back down from the challenge. If you've got problems with me killing major characters, or anything similar... I tried not to describe anything too gruesomely, but... here's your warning. I think it should still be rated T, though.

 

            It was a cold day, not lucky enough to be graced by the icy rain that they had all been expecting. That would've made the day better, because that's how each and every one of them felt. There weren't many people still left, because the service had ended hours ago. There had been more people than expected, because while they had attempted to keep it at a 'closest friends and family' level, someone had discovered what was going on, and the press showed up, along with thousands of 'followers'.

            There were still five people in the cemetery. One was standing in front of the headstone, staring at the black words on the simple grave. To fit with regulations, the stone had to look almost the same as all of the others, which bothered the people, because he _wasn't_ like all of the others.

            Then finally, _finally_ , that blessed misty rain started to fall, chilling the five people still there.

            Thor walked over, placing a large hand onto Steve's shoulder. "We shall wait for you in the car. It's time."

            Steve nodded numbly, but he didn't want to leave. He glanced over at his other teammates, watching as Clint, Natasha and Bruce tried to comfort one another before Thor wandered back over to them and led them towards the cemetery's exit. Once they were gone, Steve turned his focus back to the headstone as water started to run down its smooth surface.

            "This wasn't how it was supposed to end," Steve whispered, running his hand across the top of the stone. "I... I was supposed to be there. I was supposed to be there to protect you, but I _wasn't_. That stupid mission... went on _one day_ longer than it was supposed to..."

            Steve dropped down onto his knees, feeling hot tears stinging at his eyes, contrasting the fat, icy raindrops that had already started to drench him. "It's my _fault_... If I had been here, then you wouldn't have been in danger."

            The flowers surrounding the headstone were a bright rainbow of colors, each one different, making it impossible to get too close to the stone itself. Steve had been glad that the flowers were bright, because the day was such a dark one. At least the flowers were enough to make the grave stand out.

            "We tried to find you, we really did," Steve whispered, digging his fingers into the dirt and grass. "I didn't want to give up the search... but they..." It was impossible for the super-soldier not to sob at the thought of _how_ they knew he was dead.

            It had looked just like any other package, really. Except for the smell. It was the smell that let the team know that something was wrong.

            "There was so much that I wanted to tell you," Steve murmured, ignoring it when he heard one of his teammates walk over. He wasn't ready to leave yet, and there was no way that Bruce would be able to drag him back to the car without having to get the Hulk to do it.

            "You remember all those times that I'd ask you to go do something with me, and you always said yes?" Steve murmured, like _he_ might've still been able to hear. "I thought it was obvious, but I guess you didn't... When you didn't mention anything about those dates, and you didn't try any advances, I guessed that you thought it was just two friends hanging out, huh? Well, I never really asked if you were into fellas, I just kinda guessed by the way you used to flirt with me when the team first started up."

            Steve laughed sadly at the thought. "I thought I was being real smart, asking you out like that. When I realized you thought it was just a ‘friends’ thing... I guess that's when I stopped trying to kiss you and just tried to protect you instead."

            The package was rank, looked like someone had left it in a pool of water too long, judging by the way it made such a sickening noise when it was dropped on the table. The pictures were so _real_ that even Jarvis couldn't detect any Photoshop-ing done to them, which just made the team's hearts sink.

            It was what was underneath the pictures that was worse, though.

            "I really thought I'd be able to protect you. I'm always trying to protect the team, but... you were always more than my _teammate_ , Tony. You... I _loved_ you, so much. I loved you more than I thought would be possible.... and I lost you."

            The blood that had dripped from the box, soaking through the cardboard and seeping out onto the table, had caused the entire team to panic. Steve had been the one to open the box, just in case something might harm his team.

            The flesh had already lost its 'living' color, and decomposition was just beginning. It had obviously been in the mail for a few days. The entire team was horrified, and Bruce barely had the time to lock himself up as quickly as he could before the Hulk tried to destroy the tower.

            Steve, despite how tough he always tried to be, had broken down and cried, right there in front of his team.

            The funeral had been held three days later, after the team had a chance to try to track down the rest of the corpse.

            They never did.

            "I'm sorry that I wasn't there," Steve said quietly, running his fingers across the engraved name. Anthony "Tony" Edward Stark. They couldn't even give him a proper funeral. "I'm so sorry," Steve said, feeling the sob catch in his throat. And then he broke down again. Throughout the funeral, he had been as solid as a rock, just as he should be as Captain America, as the team leader. Now that he didn't have the eyes of the country on him, he was allowed to be Steve Rogers, hurt and broken.

            He could hear his teammate walk up closer behind him and place a shaky hand on his shoulder.

            "I don't want to leave yet," Steve cried, not caring if it was Clint or Bruce who had come back to get him. "I can't go back to the tower and know that he'll never be in it again. And I don't care who knows about it—I loved him! I loved him and now he's gone, and—"

            Steve let himself get pulled into a one-armed hug, and he pressed his face against the dirty, mud-covered shirt. It wasn't until he smelled blood when he realized that this wasn't one of his teammates, who had all been dressed in nice, funeral clothes.

            "I'm not going anywhere," a familiar voice whispered, and Steve pulled away, eyes wide, mouth dropping open in shock upon seeing the man standing in front of him.

            His shirt was streaked in both mud and blood, ripped and tattered, while his jeans had definitely seen better days. Cuts and bruises littered every inch of visible skin except his face, which had its fair share of cuts and bruises, but still managed to look so bright and alive. A crooked smile lit his face, warm brown eyes partially closed, one because of a black eye.

            Steve dove forward on shaky knees, almost knocking them both to the ground and probably knocking the wind right out of his lungs as the super-soldier hugged the injured man tight. Steve didn't try to force his tears back as he cried the genius's name over and over, wanting to make sure that he was real, that this wasn't some sort of nightmarish hallucination that would just break him all over again when Tony disappeared.

            "I'm really here, Cap," Tony gasped, patting his back with one hand. "Can you put me down? That hurts."

            "Sorry," Steve murmured, placing Tony onto the ground like he was the most fragile person in the world, like his body was made of glass and paper instead of flesh and bones. "You were dead, Tony, they sent pictures, they sent..." His eyes went directly to Tony's left hand. Or, at least, where his left hand should've been. "We couldn't find you, those pictures... they sent a _video_ , of them _killing you_. I saw it with my own _eyes_ , Tony, how are you...?"

            "Alive? I wasn't dead. I escaped. Can't get rid of me _that_ easily," Tony said with an uneasy laugh. "I mean... not that you'd _want_ to get rid of me, apparently."

            "So then you heard...?"

            "All of it. I was going to stop you and say, 'hey Cap, I'm alive,' but I didn't want to miss what you were saying," Tony admitted. "It's very touching, you know. I guess I didn't think a guy as amazing as you would ever be interested in someone like me, so I thought those were just 'us hanging out' instead of dates. Now that I know those were supposed to be dates, I feel like an idiot." Tony took a step forward. Steve could see how injured and in pain he looked. "I could've been kissing you this entire time?"

            Steve laughed, because there was nothing else he could do. He wrapped his arms around Tony again, not wanting to ever let him go. Now when he was here and alive and not six feet under the ground.

            "I ran into Pepper and Rhodey at the tower... I was wondering why it was so quiet. They sent everyone home. I learned about the funeral, and everything that those sick bastards had sent to you guys... I wanted to surprise the team, so I went to tell you all myself after Rhodey and Pep made sure my... wrist was bandaged properly. I ran into the team outside the cemetery, but they said you were still here, so I thought... I'd surprise you, too. I just..." Tony rested his head against Steve's chest, and Steve could feel it as he relaxed. "I wasn't expecting to hear anything that you just said. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you said it, I just wasn't _expecting_ it."

            "I meant every word," Steve assured him. "I love you so much, Tony, I don't know what I'd do without you."

            "You'd live," Tony replied. "It just wouldn't be as fun without me. Now, come on old man, if you love me so much, give me a kiss!"

            Steve chuckled, gently tilting Tony's chin up to that he could give the shorter man a proper 'I love you' kind of kiss. Tony melted against him, leaning up, trying to ignite the spark into an explosion of passion, but Steve just wanted to take Tony home and make sure he was going to be fine, so he ended it sooner than either one would've wanted.

            "You're hurt," Steve whispered, gently stroking his thumb across Tony's cheek. "I'm taking you home, locking you up, and getting medicine on every one of those cuts."

            "There's a lot of them. _All_ over. You up for that kind of mission, Cap?" Steve just rolled his eyes. Tony was grinning as Steve ever-so-carefully took his right hand and led him back over towards where the car was. His heart felt like it was glowing with energy, with light. He felt like life couldn't get happier than this moment.

            "So do you think I'll be able to build a robotic hand? I think it would look pretty cool," Tony mused. "Might be a little cold at first, but I'll figure it out. And I'm sure you'll be in the lab to help me the entire time. Maybe I could add something fun to it. Something we could test out in the bedroom."

            "Tony, shh," Steve murmured, leaning down to kiss him again. "I'm trying to bask in the fact that you're still alive, and that I don't have to lose you. Don't be dirty about it. Can't I be happy that you're alive for five minutes?"

            "How about five minutes when we get back to the tower, because the team is going to be _all over_ me once we get into that car," Tony said, laughing. "It might even make you jealous!"

            "I'm not jealous of my team," Steve murmured, grabbing the door for Tony. He leaned close and whispered, "Because I'm the one who gets to have you at the end of the night."

            Tony just smirked as the team pulled him into the car, Steve closing the door behind himself. Icy rain streaked down the windows, but it was warm inside the car as they drove home.

**Author's Note:**

> One of these days, I'm not going to write a happy ending. For the prompt: Presumed Dead.  
> Yes, they cut off his hand and sent it to the team. They would've sent his head if they'd actually managed to kill him, but Tony escaped first, and it took a while to get home on foot.


End file.
